The Beginning

Well hello friends! Welcome to my blog, Unlucky in Love. I'm a recently single University student trying to understand what I want in my love life and with everything that's happened - I need a medium to vent through. For a little bit of a backstory, I started my first long term relationship in grade 11. That lasted for 3 years, and I started dating someone else almost immediately afterwards. That relationship lasted for another year and a half (quite the rebound right?). It's now been almost 2 months since I broke up with the last guy and since then have had countless dates and hookups. I used to be that girl that waited for an emotional connection to have sex. I judged people who hooked up, I just didn't get it. It's funny how making one impulse decision completely changes everything.

I also always used to be very quiet about my personal life. Now I find myself telling everyone I meet about my adventures on Tinder. Who am I? Take me 3 years back and I wouldn't recognize myself. It's interesting because I feel a lot happier now despite the fact that I don't have a stable relationship and I'm not the person I thought I would grow to be. I've always been a planner, I wanted to get married at a certain age, have kids at another. I had that plan ready to go with both guys. I feel like I still want that, but I can't see how I'm going to get there anymore. What am I gaining from Tinder? Why am I "wasting my time" hooking up with randoms?

I had an interesting conversation with a particularly judgmental fellow on Tinder the other night and he said something along the lines of, "those guys don't care about you, they just want sex" (clearly this man was a licensed psychologist and could tell me what I needed). But I thought about it, and maybe I don't care about them either. I care about me right now. If there's anything valuable that I can learn from my experiences so far, it's that I want to be happy. If that means I'm not going to be perfect, then so be it.

xx
The Lavender Lady

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